The Soft-Hearted Maven

"Okay, well let us know if you need help!" Maven called out to Piper.

Devil sighed as his aimed his rifle, "Well at least they're out of the way now."

BANG

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Every BANG across the marsh was deafening, because for all the fog made it hard to see more than 10 meters, it didn't do much to swallow up the sound. Anyone and anything could track it to its source, looking for an easy target.

Behind the line of fire, the Piper was patching up their arm. Their high, quick whistle could draw unwanted attention, and that is exactly what it did.

A sorrow-spider leapt out of the dark, already reared to bite. It was dispatched with a sharp, hard blow right above the eyes, and it fell onto the wet mud with a scream that was silenced as it was squashed underfoot by a heavy boot.

"How many times," came an angry voice through the fog, "do I need ta tell you to not go spider hunting on your own? How many times?!"

The Tailor stepped forward through the fog, already scowling. There was a hammer in their right hand, and strapped along their back was a harpoon made of bone. Their tidy hair was loose in their face, their coat and vest traded for a hunting jacket that fluttered behind them when they walked. "And here, of all places! And what, have you got a rifle of all things? Do you have any idea how much noise you're making?! When did you get a b____y rifle?!!"

They were fixated on the familiar form of the Piper, but they swung their arm without looking, striking another sorrow-spider that had left right between the pedipalps. It should not have been able to yelp, but it did.

"You're going to draw the attention of every single spider on its way to the council, d'you know that?!"

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"You made it after all!" The Piper grinned, going back to back with the Tailor to cover them. There were quite a few more spiders than they'd expected for this hunt. "But I think you're confused about a couple things. One: no rifle." They made a jazz hands motion, showing off their empty, spider-guts-covered palms.

(Well, not completely empty. They did have a pretty nice set of gloves, and they'd sewn some metal spikes into the knuckles. They thought the Tailor might appreciate that, even if the Piper's stitching was hardly professional.)

"Two: not alone. And not just because you're here!" They nodded their head in the direction of Maven and Devil. "You knew that though, right? Isn't that why you came?"

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"Do you hear that?" Maven asked as they moved to avoid the spiders, "It sounded like yelling coming from Piper's direction."

Devil groaned, "God this was supposed to be a simple, fun monster hunt, not a babysitting job. Shoot spiders, change position, shoot them again, keep going until they're dead."

Maven saw a spider get too close and brought the butt of her rifle down hard on it, crushing it with a squelch, "Come on, lets go check on Piper. Hopefully they haven't been bitten."

They started hurrying towards the shouting.

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"No b____y rifle--then who--" The Tailor's eyes widened, and their brow furrowed just as quickly, because they'd heard the skittering and were already bringing their hammer down again.

"D'you know--" a snarl and a hit "--what I hate most--" a stomp, a swing, and a spider went flying "--about spiders?" They twisted, and the butt of the hammer met a clicking mouth.

"Everything." It was said with a real growl, something closer to bestial than human. They stomped their heel into a twitched body and it made a disgusting noise.

A noise in the dark that wasn't a spider, and the Tailor's free hand was no longer empty but pointing the sharp tip of their harpoon at the new threat. Not another monster, they thought. The idiot hunters who were out in the dark, leaving their idiot friend exposed.

"Oi, you nitwits! What kind of hunters do you call yourselves, trying to shoot spiders with armored shells? Don't you know you're supposed to crush them? And all the noise you're making, you've gone and warned the damn Spider-Council you were on your way! I'll have to track the thing all over again!"

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To say the two were surprised at the sudden appearance of the Tailor was an understatement. Not only was their presence unexpected, but their literal appearance was entirely different than what the two were used to. This was not the fancy social-climbing Tailor they were used to seeing. They seemed more wild, feral.

"Tailor, what are you- wait, spider council? We specifically were going after a small infestation, that's what the job listing said. Are you saying there's a spider council here?" Maven's mind was processing the sudden appearance of Tailor and what they said about a spider council. They would have never been using rifles if they'd known this was a spider-council lair. That's specifically why they had chosen this job, because the Brash Devil wanted to do some long-range hunting. (and according to him, "the normal method for clearing sorrow-spider infestations is boring")

The Brash Devil, meanwhile, had recovered and was waving his hand dismissively at the Tailor's yelling, trying not to let Tailor's sudden appearance throw him as he stomped on a nearby spider, "Look, don't get your fancy knickers in a twist. These bullets are perfectly capable of piercing sorrow-spider armor, I've done this more times than you can imagine." Another spider came near, and as he spoke he quickly grabbed and swung it into a nearby tree where it was impaled on a broken, low-hanging branch, "We're just having a fun bit target practice."

Maven spotted another nearby sorrow-spider and squashed it with the butt of her rifle like the last one, "Honey, if this is a spider council, then the Tailor does have a point, we should rethink our approach."

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"It's a good thing you came!" Piper called to the Tailor over their shoulder.

The spiders should have been their first priority, really, but it was hard not to just watch the Tailor work. They were so cool when they were in their element, snarling and covered in spider guts. Piper suspected the Tailor thought Piper was less competent in monster hunting than they actually were, simply because the Piper called them for help more often than was strictly necessary. Just because you could do something on your own didn't mean that was the most fun way.

Still, they should pull their weight. The crunching of chitin was a nice enough song, and they quickly fell into rhythm. They liked Maven and Devil, but it was definitely easier to fight alongside someone who wasn't blasting near them. Hopefully those two had brought some other weapons besides the rifles.

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A kind of stiffness came over the Tailor's expressions at the sight of the Maven and Devil out of the darkness. For a single moment they became aware of the stark contrast of how they looked now to how they had looked mere hours ago. A hunter dressed to be fast and armored. A hunter was not a tailor. They knew this and so they'd done everything in their power to keep their works separate, and the people the interacted with in those works separate.

This was shit. This was utter shit.

They kicked out, another spider sent through the air, and spat into the dirt. "Does this look like a small infestation to you?!" They snapped, more at the Devil than the Maven, and then they leaped at the Maven with bared teeth, a monstrous snarl twisting their features and their harpoon straight in front of them, towards their target--

A spider had leaped long and high into the air, aimed for the Maven's back. It was armored all over the body, as all sorrow-spiders, were, but its mouth was open. And that was an opening.

The sharp and gleaming point of the harpoon slipped straight in, and the inertia of the spider's leap sent it deeper, and near instantaneously that tip was through the other end of the spider's body. It was fully impaled, thoroughly dead, yet when the Tailor arced their arm back sharply, it flew off the harpoon like butter off a hot blade.

The look on their face, when they made eye contact with the Maven, was pure murder. It was also possibly the most open their expression had ever been around her. The expression had been crafted at the spider itself, but it hadn't dislodged itself from their face yet.

"Three weeks, I have been tracking this Council for Inch." They turned on their heel and in long strides crossed the clearing that was filling with arachnid bodies. Every stomp landed on another twitchy corpse with intent to make sure the job was done. "And now you've all alerted the cavalry, to defend the host while it uproots itself again and finds a new nest. Thanks for that." This part, said closer to the Piper, as the Tailor wielded the hammer again.

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The Piper flinched. The sharp words probably weren't really directed at them - this was Maven and Devil's job; Piper was just here for support. They hadn't had any information going in. They hadn't known they were poaching someone else's prey.

Not that it would stop them, necessarily. The Tailor was their rival, when it came to monster hunting, and part of the fun was beating them to the chase. The Piper would offer a hint about some other beast as a peace offering when they won, and would pretend to be put out about it when they lost.

Of course, it was more fun when it was intentional. And when at least one of them stood a chance of winning. But as optimistic as the Piper tended to be, there was no way they could get in deep enough to catch a Council in time.

"I can, uh, help bait it out for you. Wherever it moves next."

In the meantime, they tried to stay out of the way of Tailor's hammer. Piper got the feeling it would hurt more than one of the Devil's bullets.

"Should we regroup?" They shouted towards Maven and Devil while kicking a spider flying.

Another one leapt up and bit their shoulder - the one they'd just healed, dang it - while they were busy. They could walk it off for now, but it would drain their time and supplies to heal later. Annoying.

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Devil was about to answer that he'd seen way worse infestations when Tailor moved in Maven's direction. He made to stop them-

But Maven had just enough time to hold up a hand to indicate he stop. Otherwise she stood still. She saw from the way Tailor moved they weren't aiming at her, and didn't want to do anything to mess them up. If she tried to dodge or duck without them saying so, she could mess up their aim, trip them up, get in the way of their weapon. Plus, if she was right, she knew she could trust Tailor to do this.

And she was right. She heard the squelch of the spider behind her as Tailor dispatched it. It was clear to her now that Tailor was more skilled and experienced than she'd realized. She had always figured they were more rough around the edges than their "tailored" appearance suggested, but she had merely assumed it was from their former life as an urchin. Now she knew better. It also makes sense why Piper was disappointed that Tailor wasn't accompanying them to the hunt. She had thought that was just more of Piper wanting to spend time with Tailor, but clearly Piper knew much more about Tailor's life.

She held the eye contact with the Tailor. They always looked so guarded, like a veil was between them and everyone else to hide who they really were. But here they were, at last.

Was she scared by what she saw? Disappointed? Happy? Excited? Whatever it was, her expression didn't show it. But she was certainly seeing Tailor.

As Tailor turned and continued berating them, Devil doubled down on his attitude, (he was absolutely not impressed with that move just now that saved Maven, no way, why would he be impressed by anything this snot-nosed brat-NO-HE MEANT-this arrogant twat did) "Ugh, of course you work for Inch. Is that why you think you know everything about monster hunting all of a sudden?"

Maven spotted Piper's predicament and rushed over, pulling out a knife to stab it. (she did not want to risk shooting or swinging near Piper) She answered Piper, "Yes, I think you're right." She turned to the others, "Maybe we can debate the finer points of sorrow-spider eradication when we are not in the midst of them?"

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"I know about monster hunting," the Tailor said lowly, "because I am a monster hunter." They slung the harpoon back onto their back, which was turned to the Devil, and focused on using the hammer, swinging it out and hitting a spider squarely on the underside of its abdomen. "A proper monster hunter. Have you taken the Rites?"

They made an arc around the party, struck another spider that was leaping for the Maven and Piper. The hoard was thinning, for sure.

They turned a peligin eye to the Devil, sneering, but they weren't able to school their features properly, and it came out a snarl. "I'm not going to recite my resume to you, for you to accept I do not need your assistance with the Council. You collect what legs you like for the Department, and you leave, and save the real hunt for the trained professional. And you keep what you've seen tonight to yourselves."

It was not a request.

Edited Date: 2025-06-29 08:53 pm (UTC)

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"So, uh. That's a no, then...?" The Piper asked weakly.

The Piper was not an official monster hunter. The work they did for Inch was just on a commission basis. Maybe one day that would change, but for now their actual occupation - well, that wasn't anyone's business, either.

They tried to sneak a packet of salve into the Tailor's pocket before they left, as an apology, but it slipped from their slimy hand and was quickly buried under the spiders.

Of course.

"...Let's just go," they mumbled to Maven and Devil.

If they were in a better mood, they would have invited the pair along for a different activity, so the night wouldn't be completely ruined. But the Devil looked more furious than ever, and Piper no longer had the energy to play off it.

Better to just go home, where they wouldn't screw up anything else.

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The Devil's face was turning dark. He had enough of arrogant assholes telling him they knew better than him. Of looking down on him for not fitting into their little molds and what they think is the "right" way. He had gotten plenty of that today from that stupid teacher, and this was supposed to be taking his mind off that, and what happens?

In comes Sir Monster Hunter (apparently) to berate him because, what, the Department of Menace Eradication gave them bad information and they acted on it? Or just because to the "expert" here, there should only ever be one way to do shit and any other way was "wrong" and he was stupid for ever straying from what the "right" way was?

Not bad enough Tailor wanted to be some stupid social climbing twit and used people like Maven to do it, now they had to step into Devil's territory? This was his territory, no matter what the Tailor claimed; he could guarantee that he had been doing this longer than Tailor, and he was not going to let Tailor tell him otherwise.

He wasn't going to take this shit.

Not from Tailor. Not from the Academic. Not from the Brass Embassy.

But as Devil was opening their mouth to unleash a tirade onto the Tailor-

"Stop!" Maven cut him off, still by Piper's side as she examined their shoulder. She had removed her toxinbane brooch and was using the panacea inside to stave off any effects of the bite, "Tailor is right, lets just collect what we have, report to the Department that the infestation was bigger than they listed, and head home." She turned to Piper, "Piper, you should come with us. You've been bit, the panacea should help but I can monitor you for awhile to make sure and help with the rest of your wounds. You can have dinner with us while I do."

Edited Date: 2025-06-29 09:49 pm (UTC)

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The Piper winced, but not from the pain. The bite wasn't bad, really. They just... Weren't so sure, now. Which was funny - they hadn't had any qualms about butting in without a true invitation, and now here one was, and they didn't want to take it?

It would be fine. The Devil wasn't mad at them. And the Maven's cooking really was too good to turn down.

"Sounds good." They swallowed before forcing a grin. "After you, my lady."

They cast one last glance back over their shoulder. Tailor seemed to have things under control. They usually did.

Edited Date: 2025-06-29 11:28 pm (UTC)

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The Devil briefly turned a fierce glare in the direction of Maven and Piper, then back at Tailor. He clearly did not want to back down. He wanted to force Tailor to admit how wrong they were. Wipe that stupid, arrogant look off their face. Anything. Anything except backing down.

"Honey, please," Maven called out.

Devil's face grew an ugly sneer as he let out a snarl, turning around and stomping away. He swiped up spider corpses along the way, roughly ripping off their legs to bring to the Department and throwing the bodies to the side after.

Maven began to walk away, staying near Piper in case they needed assistance. She also glanced back at Tailor, her mind ruminating on all that had just transpired and all she had just learned about the Tailor.

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